Some funnies from Jack Handy to keep you laughing until spring break....

When I die, I would like to go peacefully, in my sleep, like my Grandfather
did. Not screaming and yelling like the passenger in his car.

If you're ever shipwrecked on a tropical island and you don't know how to
speak the natives' language, just say "Poppy-oomy." I bet it means something.

I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but
they don't know I'm using blanks.

Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you've never
known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and
bitter. Wait. It's not love I'm describing. I'm thinking of a monorail.

Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I
forgot to put my pants on.

I think my new thing will be to try to be a real happy guy. I'll just walk
around being real happy until some jerk says something stupid to me.

When Gary told me he had found Jesus, I thought, Yahoo! We're rich! But it
turned out to be something different.

Probably the saddest thing you'll ever see is a mosquito sucking on a mummy.
Forget it, little friend.

Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying
across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in
his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And
also, you're drunk.

To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk
around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" you can
say, "Sorry, got these sacks."

If a kid asks where the rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him
is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thnig to
tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

I wish a robot would get elected president. That way, when he came to town we
could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.

Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct
is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then
it wouldn't seem quite so funny.

When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie
heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmmm,
boy.

Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait, not me, you.

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word
itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two seperate words - "mank"
and "ind". What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is
mankind.

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out
when you're coming home his face might burn up.

I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.

HALL DINNER

Hi Ladies!

We're having a hall dinner this coming Wednesday, March 8th at 6pm. Like last semester, we're going to have an italian dinner provided to us by Dining Services so you need to sign away a meal in order to eat!

Later that night, at 9pm we're going to be holding a Roommate Game in the Founders Lounge. Do you think you know your roommate? Come test your skills. If you know eachother well enough, you could win some great prizes!

New Year's Party

Start off this semester with your hallmates! We will be meeting in the lounge at 10pm on Thursday February 2 for our first meeting/party of the semester. We have some business to cover and some fun things too. See you all there!

All Faith Service

In order to give students an opportunity to participate in this liturgy which has become such a meaningful tradition here at USD, the following class schedule will prevail on February 3:

Normal Beginning Time:
8:00 a.m.
9:05 a.m.
10:10 a.m.
11:15 a.m.
12:20 p.m.
1:25 p.m.

Special Beginning Time:
7:50 a.m.
8:40 a.m.
9:30 a.m.
10:20 a.m.
11:10 a.m.
1:40 p.m.

Special Ending Time:
8:30 a.m.
9:20 a.m.
10:10 a.m.
11:00 a.m.
11:50 a.m.
2:20 p.m.

Classes beginning at 2:30 or later will meet at their regularly scheduled times.

Welcome Back!

Mandatory Hall Meeting

We will be having a Mandatory Hall Meeting on Wednesday December 7th at 7:30pm

Please meet in the Founder's Lounge for information about leaving for Winter Break. We will also be going on an ice skating trip following the meeting.

The Dining Hall's Holiday Dinner is that night. So we could even meet together before the meeting for some festive food.

Maintenance

We had Preventative Maintenance last week. If any of your maintenance issues did not get resolved during that week, please go ahead and call them into maintenance. All you have to do is call with your extension, room number and describe your problem. Then the dispatch will send someone your way.

It'd be great to get those all called in by the end of the semester so that things can be in perfect condition when you get back for Spring!

Maintenance can be reached at x4250

Halloween Extravaganza

Put your holiday spirit to good use!

Room/Door Decorating Contest: Get together with your roommates and decorate your door (or whole room) for Halloween. (Prizes are yet to be determined)

Then....

October 26th Halloween Open House in Stuart Hall
Prop open your door and let the whole hall be the judges to determine the winning room. Wear your halloween costumes. Maybe even have candy to offer visitors? We may even be able to cater in dinner that night so stay tuned for details!


Start Now Get Decorating and save the date!

Hall Dinner

Every Wednesday at 6pm, meet up with your hallmates and RA to have dinner together at the caf! We meet at the UC at 6... see you there!

Win Money!

Win Money for completing Alcohol.edu!!!

Do you have to complete Alcohol.edu for your class? Check out this flyer and find out how you can win $25 dollars for completing the online program. It's not well advertised, so take advantage of this opportunity. 25 people will win!

Hall Tour

The new Vice President of Student Affairs, Ms. Carmen Vazquez has asked to view our residence halls. The date and time of the tour is still up in the air. However, the Residence Life Office is looking for a few volunteers to show off their room to the new VP.

"Carmen is very excited to see occupied rooms in order to view how our residents personalize their space."

I was hoping that one of our rooms in Stuart could volunteer to show off their rooms in the next few weeks. Please let me know if you are interested and I'll keep you in the loop.